 This week I had the privilege of facilitating an amazing coming together of local community leaders in the sustainability movement. Under the full moon, in the newly renovated Thatcher Woods Pavilion, nearly 100 of us gathered to celebrate what’s working in OP/RF, hospitality courtesy of Green Community Connections. Oh my — did we have fun!
Over the past six months, a group of us have been gathering in ProAction Cafes, sharing ideas and collaborating, brainstorming, cross-pollinating, all the while intent on taking action. Since we first met in February, we have: curbside composting, opened Sugar Beet Coop, sparked natural lawn care campaigns, created time banking projects, sent Citizens Climate Lobby delegates to wake up political leaders, orchestrated a native landscaping conference, noticed that the monarchs are returning as we expand our wildlife corridor, counted the trees and Oak Park is officially an Arboretum, and more! We exceeded our wildest expectations! In a day when the news is dismal, especially on the environment, this was news we could use… and hoot and holler about! Remarkably, all of these endeavors began as the dream of one individual and grew into a campaign engaging dozens if not hundreds, and together included thousands. And we are just two villages among many. Produce sitting too long on the vine withers; the harvest is as critical as seeding, watering, cross-pollinating. With noisemakers as the center piece of each table, we invited local activists to share accomplishments, to harvest what had blossomed from seeds of ideas months earlier. The enthusiasm in the room was palpable. A few spoke about the magic of cross-pollination, the uplift that occurs when leaders and visionaries and activists connect in one room and together share what we care. Whether carbon, chemical-free lawns, monarchs or maple trees, caring concerns in one space connected elevates conversation, creates community and energizes action. Driving away under the light of a foggy moon, I noticed raccoons and skunks scurrying from my headlights. I couldn’t help but smile a huge, satisfied smile. How lucky was I to be part of such an active community! As Grace Lee Boggs says at 100 “What a time to be alive! We have the capacity within to create the world anew!” Hop aboard the bus to building a better future! Let’s do it NOW NOW NOW: Listen in: http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=sing+for+the+climate+belgium+%E2%80%93+final+clip&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=DCBD67145F2BDC6C2995DCBD67145F2BDC6C2995
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 She gently placed her hand on my shoulder, “I didn’t want you to walk into that,” and then pointed to what I was literally nose to nose with: a spider spinning her web. Mel and I were making our way through Thatcher Woods, our last walk/talk before she heads west to Hawaii to open a retreat center. I had been looking down, to avoid tripping on a fallen branch or losing the path which had narrowed and was muddied by a recent rainfall. It was the tenth spider web I had had a close call with in the last week. Accompanied by the lilting tune of a flute player (I kid you not!), we marveled at Mother Nature and then continued our muddy path-finding adventure. While away for a week at the beach, spiders had taken advantage of my abandoned house to adorn every nook, cranny and corner with webs. The wafting music took me back to my oceanic state of mind.
Recently, three friends in addition to Mel have decided to move away from the big city, loving its people but not its mountain-less landscape. Sad to see them go, I completely understand their need for more natural environs, and look forward to visiting them in their remote retreats. During my family’s recent respite from cement in Plum Island MA, we spent nearly all day every day at the beach, sunrise to sunset. No matter what adventure I proposed, the unanimous answer stayed the same: “No thanks, we're going to the beach.” One day, through casual conversation with a native of the island, I learned of a bird sanctuary along an expansive beach (see panoramic photo above). Cars, bikes and runners line up early every morning to wait for one of the precious few 50 parking spaces, and then tote towels and chairs to savor space at low tide. My only disappointment was not knowing the names of the dozens of species of shells, fish and birds with whom we shared the beach. I read Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gifts from the Sea, again, written when she was my age, and spent hours collecting and reflecting on seashells and other gifts the sea brought to me. Life isn’t perfect at the beach, but it’s darn close. I’m always sad to leave the natural rhythm of the tides to return to the unnatural routine of daily life. Easing back into urban life, we walked Boston’s Freedom Trail, traversing the very same streets I had maneuvered 25 years ago as a law student, bringing back a tide of memories. My law school is now in a brand new building, standing grandly across from, instead of in the shadow behind, the State House. After being thoroughly entertained by a vivacious historian who gifted me with new eyes on America’s founding, we visited my old stomping grounds at Faneuil Hall to confirm that Durgin Park's clam chowder is still the best; it is. Back home on the streets of Oak Park, I find myself missing the tidal rhythm. I wonder whether my great great grandkids will live in cities or near the sea… Will they prefer mountains or monuments? What story will historians be telling in the future? The most inspiring person I met this summer was Drew Dellinger (Love Letter to the Milky Way) at the IONS Conference here in Chicago. Maybe you’ve read his poem “hieroglyphic stairway” which begins: “it’s 3:23 in the morning and I’m awake because my great great grandchildren won’t let me sleep my great great grandchildren ask me in dreams what did you do while the planet was plundered? what did you do when the earth was unraveling? surely you did something when the seasons started failing? as the mammals, reptiles, birds were all dying?did you fill the streets with protest when democracy was stolen? what did you do once you knew?” I can’t help but wonder about the fate of cities and seashores, not to mention how we will continue to nurture our need for Nature. Will Plum Island survive another temperature uptick or the next hurricane? Will spiders and birds and fish outlive us all, or be something our great great grandkids see only on the pages of storybooks? Naomi Klein’s latest call for action in This Changes Everything lays the groundwork for a global revolution. Last night, I was up at 3:23 and 4:34 and 5:45, haunted by my great great grandchildren urging me to just do something. Time is ticking, the door is closing. What if we took what we are doing in the spirit of our favorite "ism" up a notch? What if we leaned in, turned toward the crises, created spaces for real conversations in our communities and just.did.something? I made a rare appearance at the beauty salon yesterday, This Changes Everything in hand, and it did (change everything). Shockingly, the TV was turned off; instead of the usual banter, everyone was abuzz about a monarch butterfly that had hatched in a glass jar there in the spa. They were tearful when I told them she needed to be released soon. Together we leaned in and shared all we knew about these migrating marvels. A septuagenarian next to me commented “Wow! This is a really good conversation…instead of 'this'!” (pointing to a magazine on the stand between us). She was right. Later, on the streets of Oak Park, an older gentleman named Ron from California stopped me, twice, eager to share his stories: “Did you know Highway 15 caught on fire?” (http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/17/us/california-freeway-fire/) “Did you know the State of California is ripping up lawns and replacing them with stone gardens?” (http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-06-06/california-begins-rip-lawns-because-whole-damn-state-out-water)? With the state’s water crisis, he is considering moving to Chicago, home to the largest source of fresh water in the country. [Note to self: here’s a new selling point when I’m ready to sell (got water!).] How could we build a worldwide web to connect and hold every one of us, intent on healing our ravaged earth? What would we call this, the largest social justice movement ever — one that weaved together the common thread of Moms Demand Action, Citizens’ Climate Lobby, the Occupy Movement, ERA, the Gay Rights Movement, Black Lives Matter, the Million Moms' March, ….? Save the date! A revolution is coming to your neighborhood this September 24. “History knocked on your door…did you answer?” Naomi Klein What stories do you want to be telling your grandchildren? What keeps you up at night? What one thing would change everything?
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning “Yes! 50 really is NIFTY!” as dozens of cards, flowers and gifts sing, in celebration of my midlife milestone. Lucky, lucky me! I received a tsunami of love yesterday, awash in advice, appreciation and anticipation for what’s been and what’s to be. It’s fun how we humans love to count our ways. I savored over 50 texts, 50 blossoms, 50 pieces of my favorite candies, 50 likes on FB, all marking my big day. (Thank You!) We wear devices that count our daily steps -- 10,000 we hope. Refilling my water bottle at the Arboretum yesterday, the counter tallied that I contributed to saving 27,548 plastic bottles. We live in the third most populous country in the world, inhabited by 321,000,000 people, who love statistics. I recently got curious about counting incidents of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) beginning with the dreadful statistic that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused (it’s 1 in 3 on college campuses). All involved are traumatized - the woman abused, her friends and family, and even, the abuser. 20 million of us are Veterans; anything dealing with conflict, by definition, is stressful. There are more than 6 million accidents a year; mine last fall led to a very personal experience of PTSD. My family felt the ripples. Millions are diagnosed with cancer each year (who amongst us doesn’t feel the stress of someone dealing with a diagnosis?). Nearly 10 million are unemployed. 18 million are food insecure - not sure where they will get their next meal. More than 600,000 spend the night on the streets of America, without a home. How stressful?! 2.5 million Americans die every year, leaving millions of friends and family to deal with the stress of loss. And there are gazillions of other stress-inducing diseases, incidents and traumas I’m not citing here. Even if you are lucky not to fill one of these stats, you are still likely related, friends with, or live next to someone who was abused, in an accident, died or was diagnosed. Seriously! When we do the math of "Kevin Bacon degrees of separation" to PTSD, we are all one degree from stress, or stressed! We are the most stressed culture in all time! The pharmaceutical companies want us to believe there is a quick fix in a script for every one of these stressors. 90% of all doctor visits are related to stress. 75% of the time we visit them, doctors prescribe meds to treat our symptoms of stress, resulting in more than half of us using prescription drugs. Back to counting birthday wishes…. Over the course of yesterday, I paused to intentionally breathe in all the loving sentiments you sent my way. And in the process of doing so, I could literally feel your love healing me -- mind, body and soul. I did not feel one iota of stress. It turns out, love is a healing balm. In a world awash with stress, I wonder what a tsunami of love would do. Could a love revolution heal our crisis of stress? Finishing family dinner last night at Autre Monde (“Another World” of dining down in Berwyn), I noticed a couple noticing our rowdiness. As their waitress delivered another round of beautiful orange fruity drinks, I stopped by their table. As it turns out, their oldest child is heading to college soon and they were happily escaping a curfew argument — the very same in fact I recalled having this time last year. Without thinking, the woman offered me (a complete stranger!) a taste of her drink. Yum! I loved it and was overwhelmed by her generosity. There we were, in familiar territory together: counseling teens ready to fly, who have no use, but much need, for boundaries. We are so interconnected, so in need of the healing balm of loving relationships. What better to break down the boundaries between us and combat our stressors than L*O*V*E. Our love expressed is the antidote to our PTSD crisis. I think the Beatles may have been right after all: “All we need is LOVE!” Thank you from the bottom, top and sides of my 50-year-old beating heart for your expressions of love! Even today, I don't feel one iota of stress -- that's how powerful it is -- knowing, feeling, being loved by you. Try it. I double dare you :) Today is May Day, a seasonal holiday celebrated for centuries with dancing, singing, planting and parades. This is the time for noticing what’s springing forth, what’s coming to life, what’s new! I see new life erupting all around me and participated in the festivities by planting my garden. Wiping away the grime of last season by washing my windows, I can see more clearly what’s blossoming. I watch birds build nests. I talk to gardeners about sowing seeds. I hear of students selecting colleges to begin again in the fall. As my high school biology teacher used to exclaim: “Life — Wow!” How perfect that this is the time of year we celebrate Mother’s Day.
I have been thinking a lot lately about my shifting role as mother to three teens, about my own aging mother coming to visit next week, and also, of the mothers of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Walter Scott, and Freddie Gray. What a challenging time to be a mother at all levels! I cannot imagine the depth of their grief or the fear they hold, worrying each day about the safety of their sons. When I get angry, afraid or angsty, my Mama Bear roars. Sometimes I’m sure it looks a little bit like Toya Graham, thought I’ve never been caught on TV (yet). She acted out outrage others of us are feeling. I echo her sentiment, “Are you for real?” Are we really going to sit and watch this injustice replay in our streets over and over again? “Really?!” Toya screamed on the streets of Baltimore MA. “Really?!” mothers shout in Ferguson, New York City, Chicago… I am curious about the potential power of “Mama Bears" the world over. What might happen if we all came together and roared for justice, for peace, for compassion? What if Mother’s Day was about more than a Hallmark card and a day off from doing dishes? We are not a shrinking minority. We are the child-rearers, meal-makers, home-creators, community-builders.... Imagine us all taking a stand in this moment, shouting “Enough!” Enough of war, violence, hunger and injustice. Enough! One of the most powerful stories I’ve seen lately shows a petite reporter giving voice to gang members in Maryland. Did you see that they called a truce on the streets where they live, to come together to demand and stand for justice? Let’s stand with them, and if not with them, than with their peaceful sentiment. I invite all of us — mothers, media, politicians, police — to shine the light on what’s new, what’s springing to life, what’s possible. Our culture is desperately hungry for a new season, a new reality, a new way of living. Let’s begin by sharing signs of what’s working, telling stories of people who are coming together to form new alliances. Our culture is abuzz with the contrast between resume-living and eulogy-living. Let us write our collective eulogy today, and fill it with stories of community, compassion, connection and creativity. Who better to model the new way of being than the mothers? What better gift can we give our mothers this Mother’s Day than to embody and make real the love they’ve shown us? Really. Isn’t it time to make real the new world we have been dreaming about? Are you for real? Trying on nearly every pair of pants in my closet last week, I came upon the truth: “nothing fits.” Either my washing machine is shrinking the fabric or my body is expanding to take up more of it. I have come to the same realization Elizabeth Gilbert did after eating her way through Italy in Eat Pray Love: “I have put on weight. I exist more now.” My plate (and my thighs) are full, fuller than ever, even. I exist more in the world, now.
The Buddhist have an essential mantra: “Everything changes.” And how. I’ve been reflecting on the concept and reality of change quite a bit lately, as I prepare for Circles, cope with my oldest off at college, witness my parents aging (finally!), and plan how to ritualize my upcoming 50th birthday. I find myself peeling back the decades, and with each one, considering how much has changed and how much I have changed. Celebrating my last big birthday (4-0), I hadn’t yet lost my baby fat or dreamt up Circles. I hadn’t yet caught up on sleep, had no time or energy to read, and no taste for coffee. Today, I can’t imagine life without books, sleep, or lattes! In fact, at 40, I had just gotten all three kids out of diapers, sleeping through the night, and into school. At the time, it seemed like a triathlon! For the first time in years, I had a wee bit of time to myself. I was celebrated with surprises: Jim woke me up that morning at 8 AM with a “bagel and bagpipe” party in our backyard, and my gal pals picked me up that night in a stretch limo so we could dine in style downtown. Since then, I have read more than 100 books, held 450 Circles, and (mostly) sleep through the night. Flashing back another decade to 1995, I hadn’t yet become a mother. With so much of who I am connected to being a parent of my trio of teens now, my life before becoming a mother is nearly unfathomable. (What did I worry about all day long?) Mama Bear was hibernating while I billed thousands of hours practicing law. Turn the calendar back again, I find myself in 1985, stretching my wings 1000 miles away from home at Holy Cross College in Worcester Massachusetts, where I was busy studying, socializing and typing papers on my IBM Correcting Selectric, to earn money for concerts, clothes and keg beer. I no longer own a typewriter, rarely go to concerts (they are too loud!), and don’t like keg beer any more. Everything changes. One of my teens recently asked me whether there is anything about me now that is the same as when I was a child. Very little, I said. (And now, even my weight has changed for the first time in decades.) At 10 years old, in 1975, I spent my days mostly outside riding horses, cutting grass, playing pretend games with siblings and cousins, and dreaming of becoming lawyer, mother and wife. I hadn’t yet stepped onto the moving sidewalk of life, had very few concerns, and… no idea how much my life would expand. Very little of who I have been fits anymore. To some from my past, I am nearly unrecognizable. The only constant, it turns out, is change. And so my challenge continues to be expanding my mind, body and soul. My daily mindfulness practice keeps me in the present moment, letting everything be as it is. How wild to think I have absolutely no idea what changes are to come in the next decade. And… I can’t wait to find out! Bring it on! and Let it be! Everything changes; most of all, me. Cheryl Strayed in Wild “How wild it was, to let it be.”
“I read the news today, Oh boy!” and now I can’t sleep. I am wide awake, wondering, trying to make sense of it all.
The news comes - we hold our breaths, fearing death by choice….self-determining life’s end - but to what end? The why’s won’t stop. We feel the precious urgency of life interrupted. Now we are all wide awake - if only for this moment, wondering why??? How could we all have loved him more than he loved himself? How can we love each other better as a result of these lessons learned, too late? How can we see into the eyes of those who survive life’s wild ride and let them know they are beloved? When will gaze into our own mirrors, love what we see, and assure ourselves that life is worth living — still? February’s grey skies, blizzards, and polar plunges take their toll on us all in Chicago — keeping us cocooned, trapped inside with our own inner demons. We know neighbors sit next door; we can see their screens aglow and we absolutely cannot survive without connecting to them. And yet. Will we wake in time to greet the light in each other’s eyes instead of the candles that burn through darkness in tribute to their lives’ lost? In memory of Peter Traczyk: Thank you for the wakeup call! We will do better to love, to connect, to make this a community you would be proud of. Today is a rare “day off.” How are you choosing to live this “time out of time,” this national holiday, this MLK Monday? Are you sleeping in, doing something fun and frivolous with your kids, playing catch-up or is it business as usual?
We saw Selma on Saturday. As a result, I see the civil rights movement, MLK and even the concept of activism differently. (That’s one thing I love about movies — how they show a different perspective and occasionally, shift my perspective.) In one scene after another incident of heinous violence, a peaceful but provoked MLK preaches to his people to “Disturb the peace!” He begs not only the people in power but only those in the pews to disrupt business as usual, to peacefully interrupt the status quo. I left the movie with my heart wide-open, wondering what MORE I could be doing to disrupt, to disturb, to bring about peace one day. At TEDx Naperville last fall, among many fabulous speakers, there was an official “Disruptor.” Russ Riendeau, PhD, a behavioral scientist, performed all kinds of fun, crazy antics intended to make us uncomfortable — to shift us out of our habit states of listening and being tethered to our phones. At one point, he asked us to “Consider today is tomorrow.” And together we wondered: What MORE can I do? What one thing can I do tomorrow (that would change today)? How can I think differently (that would impact the future)? Today, let’s interrupt the status quo! Let’s think differently. Let’s disturb the peace so that tomorrow can be a better day for us all. Love to hear your ideas here: http://www.2big4words.org/sues-spark.  Here’s to health, happiness and sweet surprises in 2015 — Happy New Year!
New beginnings are ripe for setting new intentions, taking on new ways of being in the world, exploring new possibilities. I love beginning again, hitting the reset button, wiping the slate clean. The Roman god Janus had two faces: one for gazing back and one for looking forward. Allow me to gaze back and report on the state of the Circle. Last year, circles on mindfulness, transition, purpose and walking on the edge convened. My four-year long circle with teenager girls concluded as they graduated and learned how to lead circles themselves. I joined a local peace circle and also connected with people all over the country facilitating fabulous conversations in neighborhoods, corporations, nonprofits and even prisons. I brought teenagers together to reflect and collect their amazing stories to tell college admissions! While I am always dreaming up new circle topics, I most frequently circle with women returning year after year committed to diving deeper. Since I first began this extraordinary adventure some six years ago, I have been privileged to sit in nearly 400 Circles! That’s 800 hours spent in a field of creation, inspiration, reflection and connection! Lucky lucky me — this is my very favorite way and place to be. As one woman remarked this year in a circle on transition, “Why did it take me five years to get here?” I responded that she came at the right time. We all felt the deep resonance and bright illumination of her personal transformation. She came thinking she needed a new job. Instead, she took her new views into the old job and uplifted everyone. With a heart full of joy, I say thank you to each of you who have made the leap to explore my crazy idea and who have helped evolve me and this ancient Circle art form. With thousands of people the world over being re-introduced to circle, we are together creating a new way of being in community. Reflection and connection are needed now, more than ever. At the dawn of a new era and five years into my passionate mission, I feel the urge for even MORE. It’s time to take things up a notch. Continuing to create circles on a variety of topics, I am ecstatic about Wise Women Consciously Aging and circles for moms launching children to college. Through sweet synchronicity I met an amazingly alive woman, Diane, and together we are co-creating courses and virtual circles (http://awomanalive.com/services/wcm/). And on January 31, I am presenting a workshop at The Well in LaGrange on Living More Mindfully (http://www.csjthewell.org/courses/living-more-mindfully/). What are you looking forward to in 2015? What topic would allure you to come to Circle? What’s new in your corner of this wintry world? CONVERSATION CAFE for MOMs moving on, launching children into college and beyond! Now that the college applications have been sent, there is second semester senior slump to survive and plenty of graduation parties to plan, not to mention all that college packing. Are you looking for companions to ride the roller coaster of riveting emotions? Savor the wisdom and support of similarly situated women sending offspring out into the world. (Spoiler alert: they come back…often!) Having recently survived this stage, I know how surprising and challenging it can be. Join me as we make the most of this necessary transition (else they’d be on our basement couch forever!). It’s time to take time for yourself — how about a nine-month gestation to birth the new you? We will meet monthly from February to October to pause, reflect, and take time to plan and prepare a mindful goodbye. Along the way, we will consider possibilities for this next stage of parenting. As we move through the year, we will create meaningful celebrations marking their passage from childhood to adult, and ours from mom on main stage to guide on the side. Best of all, benefit from the privilege of tapping into group wisdom — we are far wiser, together. Come, sit in Circle, and become more of who you came to be! NEW MOMs UNITE! Come to a Self-Care Salon, where YOU are the topic and the expert! Connect with other wonderful women bringing new life into the world. Share stories. Create a life you love. Be a better mother by practicing the oxygen principle - self care first. Having raised three children, my wisest insights have been to practice self care and create supportive spaces. Circle provides a nurturing space to reflect, connect and inspire each other to become more of who we came to be. LAST CALL for WISE WOMEN unite! We are creating a new model of vital aging, calling us to claim our place at the fire, to live our life on purpose, more than ever before! We can choose to grow whole, not old, by discovering who we are, sharing our stories, and exploring how we become “new elders.” Join me in this ancient, new way of being in community: the CIRCLE. This one is for women in the second half of life, willing to inventure: to adventure inward into inner realms! Whether you consider yourself an “elder” or not, Come. There is no place like Circle, where we can tap into insights, greater wisdom and be nurtured to become who we came to be. CURIOUS about LIVING MORE MINDFULLY? Are you a prospective meditator - always thinking about starting a meditation practice, but never quite fitting it in? There are literally hundreds of new scientific studies showing that meditation can literally change our brain structure in ways that might boost concentration, memory, and positive emotions. Being more mindful can make us happier and more productive! Come! Start your week off on a mindful note, with a wonderful community of women exploring mindfulness practices you can improve your life with today. Each week, Circle is a different combination of women focusing on a new aspect of meditation/mindfulness. Whether you’ve Circled before or not - come and dive into this safe, supportive space to pause, reflect and connect. Having led hundreds of Circles, I wholeheartedly believe in the transformative, inspirational power of Circle! Our world needs us now, living more mindfully, more fully activating! The very best way to do this is with similarly situated souls. We gather on Monday mornings from 10A-12P (1/12, 1/26 & 2/9 & 2/23). Please RSVP in advance. |
