No wonder we feel like we never have enough time… much less feeling overwhelmed, fuzzy, foggy!
I crave clarity. I love a clear blue sky, a calm lake, the view through clean windows. I feel most inspired when I can see my day laid out before me and make decisions clearly. I enjoy knowing just what to do. Don't you?
In reality, life in 2014 is messy, messy ,messy! How do we homo sapiens — those who know that we know — operate in a whole new world where we know far less than we don’t know? Where we can't possibly know everything? That which is invisible far exceeds that which is visible. We don’t see more than we recognize. Imagine that. Really take in the vastness of this reality. Dark energy + dark matter > 95% of the total content of our universe. That’s HUGE! And dark.
Back to the younger version of you, 1986. How did she see the world? What mattered most to her? What were her deepest desires? For me, I’d have to say the realization that Thursday nights also counted as a “night out” and a certain lax bro with blue eyes was the perfect person to hang with! Deep, right? (Thankfully) nearly everything about me has changed since 1986, although I still occasionally enjoy a Thursday night out. To be sure, I felt much clearer then about my future path than I do now. My 1986 vision included law school, marriage, house, family — with details to be fleshed out along the way. In the end, it all looked and felt far different than the nine-year-old version of me first envisioned.
Life shakes you, tries to break you, and certainly awakens you! And most often, life unfolds unlike anything you’d ever expect or plan.
Here on the cusp of the halfway point, I cherish rare moments of clarity and insight and realize that I’m most often required to show up when it’s messy, foggy and dark and I can’t see a damn thing clearly. And precisely there — in the not knowing and uncertainty of life — I am, without a doubt, becoming me. Clearly.